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The chemistry is strong, you connect, you have fun. Now you start to get really excited…could this be it?

Maybe you hang out a few more times, but then something changes. Here is why this situation is so confusing for most women.

Maybe it’s reassurance or validation, or maybe just more of the feeling of being OK.

Guys don’t know exactly what it is, but suddenly their instincts are telling them to get away.

Either you notice that he starts to pull away and seems less engaged (commonly known as “the fade away”), or he just vanishes (a phenomenon known as “ghosting”). When a girl loses interest in a guy after a few dates, she can usually pinpoint the reason.

Maybe he was too desperate, not intellectually stimulating, too quiet, too loud, too boring, too boisterous–she usually knows exactly what it is that turned her off and can give a reason as to why she doesn’t want to continue dating him if asked. A guy can go on a few amazing dates with a girl and find himself suddenly and inexplicably put off by her.

QUIZ: Are You Accidentally Destroying Your Love Life?

You begin interacting with the thoughts in your head rather than with the person in front of you.

At this point, instead of him feeling like he’s connecting with you, he feels like you’re trying to get something out of him.Most guys can intuitively sense when a woman is reacting to them as an object rather than a person, when she is using him as a means to fill a void within herself.Guys typically don’t operate this way in relationships and he can’t fully understand what happened to turn this seemingly happy, cool girl into an unpleasant, emotionally-reactive, reassurance-seeking mess.You know how sometimes you’ll go to take a sip of water and you literally can’t stop chugging?You didn’t even realize you were thirsty, it’s only when you begin to quench the silent thirst that you realize how potent it was. MORE: 5 Ways to Ruin a Budding Relationship It’s tough for someone to nail down the source of feeling not OK, but they unconsciously latch onto things that will get rid of this feeling, usually through reassurance or trying to make situations come about that they feel will make them happy and finally grant them relief.

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